I have been lonely! Yes, loneliness has struck even amid the many people I've surrounded myself with. In today's uber fast paced urban society, people are becoming increasingly lonely. It's a fact. Even though people are MORE in contact with one another with the aid of all the technology available - SMS, emails, MSN, the phone.. And yet, have you ever experienced that strange sensation, of feeling so alone in a crowd? I have! It's a really funny feeling, but it's so real.

But wait, hang on. Just what is 'loneliness', you may ask! According to the Longman Dictionary of Contemporary English, the word 'lonely'means to be unhappy because you are alone and feel that you do not have anyone to talk to. We humans are such feel-y creatures! So many things we do stem from what we feel. So anyway. I was feeling rather lonely the last week after coming from a more or less peaceful preceding week. Monday rolled by and even though I was meeting a friend for dinner, I couldn't help but feel unloved in general! On Tuesday, I met some of my old classmates for dinner and the lonely bug really bit me then. Some of them had brought along their boyfriends, and incidentally, I'm one of the two of us left unattached. It's silly I know, to feel unloved, unwanted etc. But I'm silly so often, and that's beside the point. It was at that point when I think I began to wallow in my self-pity. I was practically throwing a pity party for myself! Thinking despondent thoughts about wanting to just stay in bed and hide from the world, about how I was never going to fulfill my dream of having 11 kids (to form a football team) because I'm just so unlovable. You get my drift!

By Wednesday night, I realised what I was doing (enjoying my sad pity party) and decided to hit the books - my Bible, Rick Warren's Answers to Life's Difficult Questions and the Word Among Us. My readings led me to read about Paul's captivity in prison and his loneliness there - and I was thoroughly inspired by Paul's indomitable spirit. Even though he was forced to be alone in his cell, cut off from all his friends and the outside world, Paul didn't sit in a corner and cry, thinking sad thoughts about what he could be doing if he weren't imprisoned. Instead, the Bible tells us that Paul made good use of his time in prison. He studied and wrote some of the letters in the Bible today.

Which is what I should be doing! No no, not writing letters or studying. I mean making good use of my alone time.
"If life gives you a lemon, make lemonade."
So what I can do with all my time alone now is to make lemondade! Do some inner soul-searching to clear out the debris in my life, familiarize myself with the Bible, clean out the clutter in my room, read a few more books, listen to some good music.

To end off, I shall share one of the comforting verses that really popped in my face while I was reading.
God has said, "I will never leave you; I will never abandon you." -Hebrews 13:5
That's His promise to me and an assurance of His presence even when the feeling of being close to Him dwindles.



*kel