"Why are you - a girl who has everything in the world - crying, as if you have nothing?"
A nun asked my best friend one sunny Sunday afternoon. The sun was shining high up in the sky, the clouds white and fluffy, the grass a brilliant lush emerald green - in other words, it was a beautiful day.

The events of the last few days have forced me to remember this question posed to my friend by the nun. Because today as I was sitting at the bus stop in the afternoon, waiting for 70 to come, I was really crying uncontrollably - practically sobbing as though I had lost everything in the world. I was trying so hard to control the tears but it all just came out after the Amazing Grace meeting. It was as though something in me had snapped and released the torrent of tears from my eyes, tears which had been threatening to flow out for a good few days but myself unable to cry.

It was then when I tasted the salty tears that couldn't stop coming that I remembered what the nun had asked - why are you, a girl who has everything in the world, crying as though you have nothing? Guilt washed over me because it struck me then how abudantly God has blessed me in the last few months - giving me university admission to the course of my choice, giving me a job so I can earn money, giving me the time spent with dear people - and I cried even harder. I think people in their cars passing by me would have thought I was a victim of a boyfriend's dumping or something, but I couldn't help myself. My guilt coupled with my frustration and anger completely overwhelmed me and any control I had over my tear ducts.

Frustration because just last night when I was praying in my bed before sleeping, I was telling God that I was gonna surrender my life to Him. Even though I knew that being such a headstrong creature I wouldn't always be able to accept lying down what He wants of me, I made a resolution last night to really make a conscious effort to try. Because I was so tired of trying to deal with the unsolvables in my life, of trying so hard to make something happen with my own human efforts only to see nothing come out of it. I don't know, maybe it was out of sheer desperation that drove me to just throw everything at His feet last night and cry out: "Lord, I surrender everything to You! I'm so weary and feel like I no longer can pull myself along this path I have chosen."

When I got up this morning, there was peace in my heart because I awoke this morning determined to leave everything to God and not worry or think about anything anymore. But when the morning progressed, frustration set in cos my parents were in an exceptionally foul mood this morning. What started as a small thing - me coming down late for breakfast and us leaving home 5 minutes late as a result - got blown out of proportion as my parents vented their frustration at being late for mass on me. I admit now that how I reacted then was probably very wrong. I let my pride and anger get the better of me and I began raising my voice in response to their raised voices at me, their voices eventually amplifying into shouts as the journey progressed. And I almost screamed back every answer I had to their accusations. I said some very wrong things, which culmulated in me storming out of the car at the church entrance with tears of anger streaming down my face and my sister and I sitting at the opposite end of church this morning at mass. I really didn't want to go for catechism this morning but I forced a smile on my face and dragged myself to class. After which I went to the adoration room to seek solace from the outside world with their curious eyes on me. Once again in my utter desperation, I cried out in my heart for God to take the horrid transgressions of the morning, to take them all and help me to get through the rest of the day.

I couldn't and still can't understand how the horridness of my morning could be part of God's plan for me, but I've given up trying to understand and just seek to accept it all as part of His greater plan for me. I'm completely spent from trying to understand WHY, and so I have no choice but to accept it. This may seem like I'm going mad, but on my way home when all the tears had dried, I whispered a silent word of thanks in my heart for all that has happened so far. I had found yet another thing to be thankful for - the sky was so dark and had been threatening to unleash its torrent of rain for the longest time ever when I was on 70, but the rain held up until I got home. Not a single drop of rain had fallen on me to add to my tears falling.


*kelly

GOD BE THE DRIVER

Hello Universe.
Thought I should share this. Today was like the other day, just slacking around, schooless today (: so on. I came online and read through my mails, read the warm fuzzies etc and I happen to read the little note that my exbest friend wrote and it seriously got me thinking. So I was pretty curious and all so I decided to have a little chat with a good friend who is like an elder brother to me, and he said to me that I should leave things to God and let God take control. True, like that bible verse "come to me all you who are heavy laden and I will give you rest" Somehow my mind say yes, I will let God take control, I will go to him and leave everything in his hands, however, my heart would say no. Anyway, I kept that thought with me throughout the day till I went for mass.

During the first reading, I couldn't make out what the reader was reading. Guess I was sleepy cause it seemed as though it was drifting in and out and pretty soft, so I strained to hear. I could make out a few words here and there, but I clearly remembered that this verse Stuck Out the most. I heard this part of the whole entire reading the clearest. The verse that made now my heart is willing to say yes, I will let go. I believe.

1 Peter 5:7
"Cast all your worries upon him because he cares for you."

God spoke to me today through this verse. I cannot really express how stunned I still am,even now when I am typing this. I remembered when I heard this, I felt comforted and there was a certain kind of peace within my heart that I can never explain.
It reminded me of the camp that I attended last year, if I am not wrong its the zj retreat. One of the speaker was telling us that we are the passenger and God is the driver. We should let him be the driver and drive us where he intends to go and we should not be the backseat driver.

God works in his marvelous ways. Through my friend. Through the word. Through Nature. (:
Praise The Lord!
"HALLELUJAH
I AM NOT MY OWN,
YOU ARE IN CONTROL.
HALLELUJAH" - from the song to live is christ
-julie

PART TWO: if the world was without colours.

Hello Universe.
Have you ever wondered what life would be like if God simply made the world just BLACK and WHITE? Would we still see the rainbow after the rain? Would fishermen be able to tell the thousands of fishes apart? Would people be able to tell butterflies apart? Would we be able to see which is green apple and which is the red apple? Would we even know that there is such a thing called colours?
The moon and the sun might just look the same. The night might just be the same as the day. Gardens and parks would have flowers of the same colour. Every fish would look like the other except that they differ in shape. Oh well, the only thing that I can think of now that will not change even if God did made the world without colour is that we will still see the zebra as black and white. (:
Anyway the clouds would not be that lovely blue and white:

The sky won't have that display of different colours when the sun sets or rises:

And remember the previous post that had so many pictures of the beautiful MULTICOLOUR coral reefs and fishes? If the world was just black and white, the reefs would simply be:

BUT THANKFULLY GOD DID NOT because He thought to himself, "I was thinking of making the world black and white. Then I thought... naaah." (: I'm so glad to have colours that brighten up my life! I shall leave you with more colourful pictures of the underwater world. Till the next post, I strongly encourage you to take a moment when you are outdoors, to pause and take in the sight and sounds of nature. It would be spectacular and each time would be a different experience. GOD BLESS.

Dear Lord, thank you for creating the world multicoloured and giving me the sight to marvel at your creation. The creation that glorify you without fail.

- julie

PART ONE: the world we never see.

Hello universe. (:

HAPPY HOLY EASTER TO ONE AND ALL!

On Tuesday, the girls in my school prepared a slideshow filled with pictures of nature. The mountains, the animals that we see among us, pictures of wild animals in the wild, the clouds forming in the sky, so on and so forth. And also the ones that were previously published here on our blog. The pictures were brilliant stuff that really captured everyone and it reminded us how beautiful nature is and also the creator of them all. (:

But we as humans tend to take it for granted because we have seen so many of these everywhere. It has become such a common sight that we don't even take a moment to pause and look at it and marvel at its beauty. Its such a pity!

I was looking through my windsurfing stuff, and I was looking through the photos etc and then this idea struck me that the nature that we always see, the pictures that the media always show is all set here, right among us, on land . But why aren't there any pictures of the underwater world? The sea life? The beauty that so few people are able to have that chance to see. So I thought I should share this brilliant stuff.

Its just so amazing how God creates sea creatures and even create them in colours. MULTICOLOUR! (: ok, its not as though I have never seen colourful stuff before, but you know underwater, no one sees them except a few lucky divers, GOD and the creatures who live there. But then again, maybe its just GOD and those divers who see the colours right? Fishes and all are colour blind ( I think! ) .

This is just BRILLIANT stuff. I can't really express how much the underwater life means for me but let the pictures tell you all.

Without dragging on, here is

NATURE AT HER BEST! GOD'S EXTREMELY FANTASTIC WONDERFUL CREATION:

WE ARE ALL GOD'S ART PIECES, PART OF HIS INTRICATE PLAN.

-julie

Happy Easter to all of you wonderful people!!!

YES! It's Easter Sunday finally. And I went for the vigil mass last night in IHM for the first time in my life and I tell you... It was really such a breathtaking, awe-inspiring experience. I was blown away by the grandeur and splendour of the entire mass, in the same church I've been attending mass every Sunday in. The choir was superb, the baptism of the RCIA people was WOW and it all left me feeling exhilerated and so happy. All of my senses were tingling in the electrifying atmosphere, there was just something different about mass last night but I can't quite place my finger on what it is. It wasn't just the soaring voices of the combined choir, nor was it just the golden vestments of the priests; it wasn't just the smoke spiralling up to the top of the church from everyone's candles, nor was it just the 5 readings and 4 psalms we were treated to. It was an extra special something for me, something I can't really define but something with a voice that spoke in my heart that convinced me that Jesus is truly alive in me today.

It has been a day-by-day uncovering of my eyes in my journey with the Lord. And when I say day-by-day, I truly mean it. Something happens to me everyday, and it isn't always some loud, spectacular happening. In fact, it more often than not is something small, some small happening that one could easily pass off as mere coincidence. Life in the Spirit is truly dynamic! There're a million and one things pushing and shoving at the top of my mind, just waiting for me to verbalise it all. Revelation after revelation has dawned onto me, but with every new realisation comes a dozen other questions! Yes, that's just me. My brain's eternally questioning and curious, even as I appear to do nothing with my life except sleep. But it's just a power-saving mode I adopt. Conserve energy and save it for what's truly important. Some of the questions I've found answers to by talking to some people like Daniel, Wilfred, Trina... Some of the questions found themselves answers through my own experiences. Some of the questions never found answers. And some of the questions which found answers bred even MORE questions!

But I believe God gave me such an impossibly insatiable mind for a good reason. I don't know what it is yet, but His ways are mysterious! That I do know for sure with a capital S. It's not easy for me to take my hurts, my sufferings, my crosses and bear them all with grace. It's so much easier for me to just whine to God about it all in my prayers, to ask Him to take all life's sorrows away from me. But although it's hard for me, for us to see how our trials are not for nothing, I'm constantly reminding myself that every single test I face must be part of His plan for me. To take me, this blackened, imperfect gold nugget from the river bed, and make me into the purest gold, by throwing me into the testing, trying fire.

Purify my heart
Let me be as gold and precious silver
Purify my heart
Let me be as gold, pure gold.
Refiner's fire
My heart's one desire
Is to be holy
Set apart for You Lord
I choose to be holy
Set apart for You my Master
Ready to do Your will

The strange thing is that though I cannot and will not try to fathom why God wants me to go through certain trials, I have the utmost belief that all will be well in the end. See each one of us as a diamond in the rough if you will. The sufferings we go through in life - whether it's as mundane as enduring the monotony of endless office work (I shudder to even think about the great pile of paper waiting for me to fax/file/fold tomorrow morning in the office) or learning one of life's hardest and toughest lessons: learning how to love again, anything - they all serve to act as the diamond cutter's sharp laser in his ardous task of shaping the multi-faceted gem. And hopefully when we close our eyes for the last time ever at the end of our lives, the diamond cutter's work will have been done and we'll be the most brilliantly cut and polished diamonds when we meet our Father. More perfect than the most carefully crafted Firerose or Flanders-cut diamonds.


*kel

God's Wonders.

Special Phenomenons: God's special Wonders:

Moonbow



Green Flash







Aurora

Joel